Next, Ryan Giggs will be found to be a pedophile... So sad.

 

A statement on the club's website said the surprise agreement followed intensive discussions between team officials and the player's representatives and means that by the end of his contract, Rooney will have been a Manchester United player for 11 years.

Manager Sir Alex Ferguson said, "It's been a difficult week, but the intensity of the coverage is what we expect at Manchester United. I said to the boy that the door is always open, and I'm delighted Wayne has agreed to stay."

He added, "Sometimes when you're in a club, it can be hard to realize just how big it is, and it takes something like the events of the last few days to make you understand.

"I think Wayne now understands what a great club Manchester United is. I'm pleased he has accepted the challenge to guide the younger players and establish himself as one of United's great players. It shows character and belief in what we stand for."

Sir Alex concluded, "I'm sure everyone involved with the club will now get behind Wayne and show him the support he needs to produce the performances we know he is capable of."

Rooney said: "I'm delighted to sign another deal at United. In the last couple of days, I've talked to the manager and the owners, and they've convinced me this is where I belong.

"I said on Wednesday the manager's a genius, and it's his belief and support that have convinced me to stay."

He added: "I'm signing a new deal in the absolute belief that the management, coaching staff, board and owners are totally committed to making sure United maintains its proud winning history - which is the reason I joined the club in the first place.

"I'm sure the fans over the last week have felt let down by what they've read and seen. But my position was from concern over the future.

"The fans have been brilliant with me since I arrived and it's up to me through my performances to win them over again."

 

After all this chew on Rooney has finally decided to stay and sign a five year deal.

What a complete and utter motherf****r

 

I'm sure he hasnt made any new friends in the locker room either.

 

Hopefully now we will can get back to inspired performances resulting in w's.

 

I'd say he was pretty shrewd. He got likely a monster contract, tested his value on the open market, and got to stay where he probably wanted to stay anyway... Now his jug-head, pie-eating ass better start scoring.

 

Hahaha!

250k per week according to the Sun today - seems like good value in comparison to YaYa Toure. Bad value in comparison to the rest of humankind....

 

He also alienated half his teammates in the process by saying Man U didnt have the players to compete.

 

It's definitely an interesting scenario. A lot of the Utd fans I know kind of begrudgingly 'liked' what he did. The reason? He did more for the anti-Glazer and Green and Gold movement than they ever could have done for themselves. I'm sure they're over-exaggerating but by highlighting the lack of improvement in players bought (although by no means are they rubbish), it has put pressure on the Glazers to change things (rumours in today's press of £100m kitty and focussed investment), plus there are also rumours that Rooney had a conference call with the head Glazer to reassure him that investment would happen. Kind of scary when the mentality of 'no one player is bigger than the team' should be the mantra of the team, but I guess it simply shows how much they want him.

I think once he gets back to scoring form, the death threats and hooded gangs outside his house (dubbed the Manchester Education Society - be afraid!) will all be long forgotten.

My $0.02 FWIW