Lotus has more shitty ideas to come

There was excitement this week amongst fans of respected car makers slowly disappearing up their own arses with news that Lotus has got at least three more shitty ideas it hasn’t even told us about yet.



‘Sure, we have inexplicably announced an entire model range at once even though none of it is ready,’ said a Lotus spokesman. ‘Sure, we have also arranged for a strange and irrelevant roster of terrible celebrities to unveil these cars. And yes, we have now revealed plans to make our own V8 engines. But these alone are not enough. For Lotus to be truly world class, we must come up at least three more shitty, shitty ideas. And the good news is, we have.’

The exact nature of the Norfolk sports car maker’s next raft of shitty ideas is yet to be revealed but some car industry experts say it may take inspiration from the former world leaders in cocking awful ideas, MG Rover. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if Lotus decides to spunk a load of cash on completely re-engineering one of its models with a brand new drivetrain and a different engine even though it’s quite clear that the market for such a thing is tiny,’ said automotive analyst Helmo Crespp. ‘Or perhaps they will import a car from another country, crudely slap some new bumpers on it and then attempt to pass it off as their own with no success whatsoever. It just remains to be seen if Lotus can keep coming up with ideas that are even shittier than that.’

Hethel sources say it may be some months before Lotus is confident that its next three shitty ideas are truly shitty enough to be made public but that in the meantime their new F1 team will be more than capable of generating terrible embarrassment and negative headlines all of its own. ‘This really is an exciting time for Lotus cars and Lotus motorsport,’ said a spokesman. ‘We just can’t stop having shitty ideas until it’s too late.’

Lotus has more shitty ideas to come « Sniff Petrol

 

lol

 

So true. They have completely jumped the shark. I've always been a fan, and have owned a couple, but lately they keep announcing one car after another that I have no interest in.

 

Too much, too soon.

Take a chill pill, Lotus. They all look like a bunch of idiots in front of their biggest fans right now.

 

This is becoming like a young chid in grade school who wanted to be a fireman. Then the next week a policeman, then an astronaut, then a doctor or a lawyer. And today he is a second shift manager at a convenience store. Hopefully, Lotus will focus on one thing, stick to it and do it well. I was really getting excited about the possibility of owning one again but I feel their credibility sinking. It's hard to imagine VW or mercedes being able to produce this many new models let a lone a company that has to outsource their engines to Japan.

 

Wow that's horrible. I missed when it was just the small Elise and Exige. All Lotus needed was an Eprit and maybe a car based on the Super 7. Not all of this ugly, heavy, futuristic junk.

 

On the bright side, it'll make the company cheaper to purchase should someone who actually cares about what it once was comes along, after Proton pulls the plug.

 

there are so many that look all the same that i cant even picture one of them atm...urg

 

Funny, but if any company can make stellar cars with no budget, it's Lotus.

Then again, I'm going to the dealership in an hour to hopefully work out a deal on an S2 elise... before all the 'pure' Lotuses are gone. I'm thinking I should get a bug-eye one (pre-2011) and hold onto it forever. We'll see.

 

More info to come when it's finalized tomorrow: