I was bored and hungover this morning and decided to go out and find a game to kill a few hours with. I settled on Red Alert 3 becuase I remember when it first came out ten-or-so years ago and how awesome it was - build a kick-ass base, guard it with fortified walls and a dozen tesla coils ... and invade the stupid allies with Mammooth tanks and grenade soldiers.

So I got home all excited, fired it up and played for a few hours.

Here's my eloquent review: Of all the things invented in this world, nothing has ever sucked more ass. On the plus side, however, you are not very likely to ever come across something that will suck so bad. So if you have played it, your life can only get better.

 

Tell us how you really feel Jox.

 

How would you feel if you created a seriously awesome base, made all the progress in the world as far as technology, soldiers, naval units and air units are concerned, shielded that bitch off with a ton of walls, ships and planes. And just when you were about to make a move on your enemy - BOOM! Some goddamn asian drops a "super weapon" out of nowhere, involving some stupid-ass kamikaze planes killing every living soul and building in your base ... that you just spent 45 minutes building!

Freaking asians. I think I am going to neg rep ATL now.

 

Are you talking about the game now or your love life??

 

I want to be alone now . . .

 

It'll be alright. Pick up a copy of the new Empire: Total War - it is the best strategy game I have played in years.

 

Hahaha poor Jox I too remember how great that game was. Why don't you turn down the difficulty lvl or switch off super weapons? Or maybe turn chinese?

 

Hahaha awesome! I was looking at getting this game too, the original Red Alert was sooo awesome. Remember the Dogs?

I might give the ps3 version a rent even though you warned us.

 

Nerd Alert!!!!!!!!

 

That game did indeed suck. I uninstalled it, after playing it once.